A writer of gritty non-fiction, thought provoking short stories, content reviews, and the occasional up-side. Support me @ https://www.buymeacoffee.com/slaideyv

And why they refuse to land.

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Photo by Marten Newhall on Unsplash

They say nightmares are a defense mechanism,
all the worst outcomes crawling out from your subconscious
as a mercy — a forewarning, a shot at preparedness.

So why am I still dreaming of you?

Why do I wake
feeling confused and sorry
more than scared or angry, anymore?

What good does it do my brain to play around in all the Ifs
you left behind?

These enactments do not rip through me like the others,
the ones that guide my hand to the future and settle the past.

These dreams are a teasing little fly unsatisfactorily rubbing its hands together…

They never explained death. I just knew.

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Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Some children don’t need to be coddled in the wake of death. I’m referring to the “talk,” where adults sit you down but refuse to themselves. When they bend their knees and lower their voice like they’re telling you a secret no one really wants to hear. I told them I didn’t need the talk, I understood, and the issue surprisingly wasn’t pressed under the assumption children can’t figure dark things out on their own.

There’s an oppressive stereotype, even in a space that accepts woke adolescents, that the burden of existential understanding lay in the minds of the shy…

Everything you need to convince yourself to watch it.

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Drawing of Clare from Claymore by Slaidey Valheim.

Claymore is an anime series from 2007 and it is Bad Ass.

Claymore follows the protagonist Clare, the lowest ranked fighter in “The Organization,” a group that sees to the killing of human-eating monsters called Yoma. Claymore working for The Organization are half-Yoma themselves and face a constant battle to maintain their humanity, as their work fighting Yoma pushes them to their limits.

Claymore does so many things right that other animes of the time did very very wrong. Without further ado, here’s all the amazing things you can expect from Claymore!

Female Characters

  1. The vast majority of the cast in Claymore

Born from this collapsing tree.

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Photo by Sabina Music Rich on Unsplash

I sometimes smell it leaking out of me the morning after;
The smell of myself rotting from the inside out.

A familiar scent that crawled its way up from my parents’ basement on Sunday afternoons,

Hung on the breath of relatives that liked to lean in too close and whisper too loud.

It won’t be long until I am overripened fruit with withered skin and soggy guts,

That fell fast, hard, and splayed open on the roots we all started from.

They used to hold my face up to the sun, awe at my colors, pinch my fresh frim cheeks…

Thoughts on a memoir I hated to write.

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Cover image for Home Sweet Crack-Shack.

Hello. If you clicked through to this article you’re probably one of two things:

  • Curious what I have to say on my first Amazon publishing experience


  • You’d like to know what kind of egotist interviews themself?

This article will only answer the latter, but you can certainly expect a rant from me about the formatting issues I experienced while uploading my manuscript to Amazon in the near future.

As with any interview, lets start with the basics!

Who is Slaidey Valheim?

I write under the penname Slaidey Valheim, although the character “Jennie” in Home Sweet Crack-Shack is much closer to my given name…

That only I can nurture.

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Photo by Blake Cheek on Unsplash

You don’t notice the words slipping from your lips
hitting the floor with a muted thud
and slithering like half-dead baby serpents
to their nest of chaotic entwinement.

I feel it too,
the need to escape the cold coming
from somewhere inside you.

I nod and pretend I’m listening,
waiting patiently for the flow to end;
to see how big a hole can form
from such a casual conversation.

The black squiggles find each other
and wrap around one another tightly,
wrap eternally, pulsing,
until you’re finished
and we all can rest.

It’s a frequent (and in your case, entirely…

Some sympathy for my fried neutral pathways.

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Photo by Josh Riemer on Unsplash

Shouldn’t my own Memories indulge me?

I swear it will be different this time
I’ll find my way back without any casualties
But they’re sick of hearing that same old pitch.

I tell the Gatekeepers of the Past
they can trust me
not to dig the hole any deeper.

Let me enter and I promise
not to scratch the walls
or leave anymore stray chipped fingernails.

We’re at a standoff because I know something they don’t
but I’ve also forgotten something they haven’t.

I don’t like it either, I admit but if I don’t go back there I can never…

Also, a defense for Kakegurui

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Photo by Clifford Photography on Unsplash

Dearest readers, you’ll soon find I have standards for anime as much as I do for any other media, but that anime also has a much wider spectrum of acceptability.

If you are interested in where I stand on various anime, you can find myanimelist here, and get a better grasp of all the kinds of anime I ingest.

Now, to elaborate on why shows some may immediately deem “trash” sometimes pass my bar of acceptability, we’ll be looking at Kakegurui (a show I certainly would have condemned out of pure horny envy had I watched it as a teenager).


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